Maybe I over reacted, I talked to Clayton's uncle tonight about what was said, and he thinks I took it the wrong way, he didn't think it was personal as my name wasn't mentioned, and the rule would apply to any women he'd married, as that money was set aside just for him. Clayton talked to his dad and he apologized if that was the way it sounded, but he didn't mean it that way. Clayton's uncle offered that I could use some of the other money that was set aside for family things. But I didn't want to use it, if Clayton's parents had a problem with it. And apparently they don't.

I don't know how to take things, I feel very conflicted about the issue. In some ways I feel a bit embarrassed, especially if this wasn't meant to sound that way at all. I guess we'll play it by here and see what happens, I'll use the money I get from financial aid to help in college as I don't want to cause any problems.

Thanks for the comments on the issue, it's nice just to write what your feeling down. As I was telling my mum today, I had no one to talk to about the issue other than Clayton, all my family were sleeping six thousand miles away. So it was nice to write what I felt.

Do you ever have those day's where you've been on a high all day and you know where you life is heading and your looking forward to your future. But then someone says something that knocks you right back down into the ground. Well that's been my day, the day started off great I had my second Interview and I got the Job I was really thrilled. I handed in my resignation at the place I work in now, and finish a week Friday. I start my other job for training this Sunday. Everything was looking up for us, going back to school and everything.

Clayton phones his parents to tell them I got the job, he also mentions that when we go back to School if I could use some of his College Education money to go back also, the reply came back as "Well we'd been thinking about that and the money was for you not for who ever you married" Now does that sound like a comment where they are accepting me into their family? or does that sound like a comment where it makes me out to be some money hungry wife?? It wasn't as though we were asking for it all, I can understand if they wouldn't give me any of it, as it was Clayton's money. But I didn't expect a comment like that! Let's just hope financial aid will cover most of my College costs.

I've never felt so unwelcome in a family in all my life. I've always gotten a long with my friends families back home, always fitted in without a problem. I really don't know what the problem is, but the more these comments come up the more I think why should we stay in the US when we have no family that even cares or supports us in what we do. At least back in Wales we have a big family who cares and loves us, and will do anything to help us with our futures.